


The Wild Wolf Gets TOO Wild Sometimes

by LordryuTJ



Category: Fatal Fury, King of Fighters, Ryuuko no Ken | Art of Fighting (Video Games)
Genre: Butt Slapping, Context Addition, Drunken Shenanigans, Humor, Inspired by Video, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:48:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27657740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordryuTJ/pseuds/LordryuTJ
Summary: [Inspired by THAT infamous SNK Allstar ad]Sometimes you just don't let Terry get hammered - or he'll take your motorcycle on a ride and go ham through the streets.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	The Wild Wolf Gets TOO Wild Sometimes

**Author's Note:**

> This is heavily inspired by a mobile ad for SNK Allstars that is, in slight terms, VERY on-par with some of the other weird mobile-game ads that I've seen compilations of on YouTube – one that was also somehow made without SNK themselves even knowing (and so the ad got pulled, leaving behind a short but very odd legacy).
> 
> The SNK Allstars ad in question – uploaded by me onto YouTube for convenience (and for context if you never saw it):  
> youtube.com/watch?v=SV6J5jlticg
> 
> Ladies and gentlemen, this is my attempt to make some comedic context to the infamous advert.

Amongst the many things that make Southtown the capital realm for interesting sights – beyond the famed _King of Fighters_ tournament that started its roots within it – was the utter culture clash that formed a melting pot for all sorts of odd but interesting characters.

Only in Southtown could you find a busty ninja, a detective experienced in breaking arms, and an 'anti-clone' agent with ice powers sitting down across one another, having a bite of some sweet Asian exports at the local ramen shop.

Mai watched as she saw the noodles sucking up into the smiling mouth on Kula's face.  
"You're easy to find pretty cute when you're not making people into human popsicles~"

Seated on the other side, Mary tapped Mai on the shoulder, teasing back, "Hey – save the 'cute' talk for Andy, okay?"

The three ladies were able to have a fine time getting along with one another, at a time where they weren't pitted to beat each-other senseless.

Though it didn't come without the possible chance of something to disrupt this moment – and it was about to wiz by like a motorcycle revving past them...

_**Vrrrr...!** _

_**SMACK-SMACK-SMACK~!** _

All three ladies flinched, gasping and faces reddening as they collectively felt a stinging sensation swipe past each and every pair of buttcheeks planted atop their respective stools.

As she felt the sensation settle for a little longer, Mai soon extracted a tessen fan from the snug compartment of 'literally between her boobs'.  
"If they think they can just get away with that—come on, Mary, we got a perv to take down!"

Mary was prepared to join Mai in pursing the origin of such slap-ass – but her motivation was slightly staggered by the sound of something crashing not long after.  
"Sounds like they did themselves in already..."

Mary and Mai looked to their collective left from where they stood up, lured in that direction by a stray motorbike wheel rolling past them.

All the while, Kula had sat eerily stiff, spine erect – and her hair was slowly shifting from orange to an icy blue...

* * *

_**A moment earlier...** _

Ryo Sakazaki wore a palm on his face like a tengu mask, unfortunately understanding just what the hell was about to ensue in front of him.

"Terry, just... _no._ You're drunk – you _really_ shouldn't be under the wheel of _anything._ "

The 'Intoxicated Wolf' hazily held a finger up in response. "Ooone riiide. O'kay? Wwhh— _one._ Thhh'enn... you drive me hom'." Even though he was slammed out of his mind, he was still somewhat capable of straddling the karate man's motorcycle.

Ryo responded, growing less hopeful for the punchline of this scenario, with each word he heard slurred out. "If you crash that, I'll make sure you pay every last cent for it."

Terry nodded as he handled the bike-bars. "Tru _ssh_ 't me, I got thiss _ss_..."

 _At first,_ the free-ride on his karate friend's motorcycle seemed like smooth cruising at first – all that was needed was to keep veering down the straight path, past the stores, shops and pubs that neighbored around, and he'd be fine.

Maybe he was going a mile too far with the 'style' of things, as he lurched his body back, one-handing the handlebar as he grabbed the brim of his hat and waved it like a flag – a flag of 'enjoyment'~!

" _Oh-kay!_ "

And then, as it was inevitable for the fresh booze in his system, it all gradually fell apart.

As his left arm stretched out, feeling the wind on his palm and the hat flowing from his fingers, it was suddenly yanked back by the momentum of the hand, as it smacked against something – _three '_ somethings', based on the amount of times it swung – and the prized 'Fatal Fury' hat had left his hands.

As soon as he felt his hand become empty, he wasn't focused on figuring out what he just smacked against – his mind was boggled towards different priorities, that being the red cap having been sent across. As he lurched his body around, he tried to drift the motorcycle around as smooth as he could while under influence...

...and then the motorcycle promptly buckled, throttled up until its wheels left the ground...

...and before he knew it, Terry felt as though the ride had just moonsaulted onto his body – it may have helped smack some sobriety back into him, but he was still a pained mess in the middle of a tight and packed Southtown setting.

His ears were ringing from the pain, but he could still hear someone calling for him in the back of what hearing he maintained for the moment.

" _Terry?_ "

He gathered up enough strength to pick himself up halfway, sitting on the ground amid the busted-up ride...

…and saw Mary and Mai standing over him, surprised and repulsed by their discovery.

Mai expressed genuine shock with who she had to deal with. "Of all the guys that crossed me like that, it was _you?_ What would your brother think if he found out?!"

"Ah, hell... Mai? _Mary?_ " Terry itched his head, nowhere near crystal clear on what was going on outside of the unfortunate bike crash. Mai's ambiguous wording didn't help with context he was left without - though he could be forgiven for ignoring the right hand of Mai by her hips, massaging the afflicted area of her plumpness.

"Ugh..." Mary's face contorted as she waved away the air tainted by the alcohol-breath that released. "Smells like he hit the _hard_ stuff... No wonder he's confused..." She almost felt as though she needed to eventually wrestle some sense and sobriety back into him - as a friend, to a friend...

"Ohkhay... maybe I am a bit dh'runk..." Terry awkwardly admitted, just slightly sobering up to the mistakes made – for all he knew, he probably just simply crossed those ladies the wrong way with his moment of clouded drunken fun.  
"*urp!* By the way, this _ss_..." He gestured to Ryo's messy, smoky motorcycle, laid right beside him. "This isn't mine..."

Mary's hands sat knuckle-side against her hips.  
"That's isn't making this any better—"

Suddenly, she was an icicle.  
And so was the equally-unsuspecting Mai.

Kula walked into the fray, passing between them – icy blue hair flowing with its own force outside the wind of the outdoors, and the coldest, most unforgiving gaze poking down upon the subject of her wrath.

"Stand aside," she emotionlessly spoke. "The butt-slapper's _mine._ "

Terry very briefly reviewed the words of the NESTS girl before things kicked back into full gear in his head.  
" _Buttslap?_ —H-hold on a sec...!"  
The growing knowledge was making the efforts for him to sober back up a little easier, as he looked almost immediately willing to fight back on what he had barely figured out.  
"I dunno what _you're_ thinkin'..." He stifled a burp against one of his forearms, before retaining his clenched-fist. "...and honestly, I kinda don't either, but if you want to fight about it...!"

* * *

Meanwhile, past the slowly growing crowd for the fight about to break loose, Ryo was a shaky, ragey mess of emotions looking at the chaos caused by the 'Drunken Wolf', and was ready to unleash a full combo of discontent in the chance Kula didn't manage to succeed for him  
On the other hand, another by his side was a lot more calm about things – King knew the dangers of even just one _hammered_ bro trying to be ambitious whenever they stop by the Illusion.

She at least had some words of wisdom.  
"Ryo – do us all a favor. Next time, if you don't want him doing anything buzzed, _just fight about it._ "

**Author's Note:**

> Bonus fun fact: This was initially a chapter of 'Shin Nihon Shitposts', but I slowly realized it probably deserved its own spot as a oneshot because of its relevancy to recent SNK meme history.


End file.
